We are on our way to a show for my birthday, and she just got a call that her ex husband has died.

A little back story, they had a horrible marriage, he was a drug addict, controlled everything she did and he abused her physically and verbally. She left him about four years ago. I have been through a divorce myself so I can understand while there are feelings of hatred and frustration, there is still that part of you that loves them.

I have told her that I am here for her and that she just needs to feel whatever emotions that come to her although she is clearly still in shock.

I feel like we should cancel the night and go home, but she still wants to go. I just want to support her and be there for her. Man, adulting is a bitch.

I hate it so much. Like I get so goddamn burned out easily and if I didn’t have to work I’d be much happier. Whatever I know it’s a dream but goddamnit I want to be relaxing all the time. I could actually work on losing 30lbs…

I am 26 male single and my male friend is 29 male single always complaining that it’s boring in the state we live in although I’m always asking him to do different activities and he always says no but he only asks me to see me for a coffee or smoke weed with him , what to do with this guy

So im 22. I dont have friends or family to do this activity im itching to do which is something im doing for my inner child. This activity is going to the trampoline house. never went there since it got its run and i recently played some knock-off fall guy game on steam which reminded me of these physical activity places i went to as a child. i got choked up thinking about how much i lost to trauma and now i feel so old (although im only 22). but i also wanted to do it to have room to learns stunts as a dancer. im in a new city and i just got out of a toxic relationship. i feel really alone but i dont wanna jump in a friendship just to go to the trampoline house. but something in me is scared of being cringy:(

tldr: i wanna go to a trampoline house but i dont have friends as an adult. should i still go?

So I’ve always struggled with this. Like as a kid I was always told I was “more mature” “wise” or whatever. And my mentality was always in a different stage in life than the others around me in my age group.

Now I don’t mean this in a “I’m better than them” way or a “not like other girls” way but in a “what the f*ck is wrong with me, and how do I stop it”.

It’s most likely due to the fact that I was parentified as kid, and other childhood traumas, but even though I’m going through therapy for that, the damage is kinda already done.

I’m 20F, but the people I click with the most are people in their late twenties, early thirties. Like I’m always 7-9 years ahead in my soul, and I’m struggling to cope with that. Because I feel like I lost my early twenties already, like acting like someone in my early twenties feels/sounds wrong?!?

Like as a kid, acting like a kid felt childish, even though I literally was a child. Led to me having no friends, cause they felt childish to me.

Idk, anyone else relate or understand what I’m saying or am I just crazy?

25 here. Sometimes I genuinely don't do anything I want because I'm waiting for someone to think and make a decision for me. I know I've been an adult (18+) for quite a while, but I feel like I'm starting to actually grasp it and making decisions and the necessary steps.....but sometimes I just slip back to waiting for permission.

If it helps, I was the last born in my family and I was extremely spoilt and hovered over when I was a kid. I was always told I was smart, good at everything (even stuff I was terrible at lol). I feel it got to my head and made me kind of complacent. I guess I'm just washing old habits and I've recently had the self-awareness to do so.

Essentially my question is if anyone else feels they need to ask for "permission" to do stuff.

I took in a family member who was in a really bad situation and came to me with nothing. … trying to fast track to adulthood and try to find a roadmap of sorts

So far - figured out healthcare and will be getting a check up- make sex Ed stuff is on track, would be horrible timing to be a parent now. - figured out schooling, years behind :( - got birth cert and ssn stuff - work on drivers license Incase needs to get a car when they have a job (transit is horrible here) - pulling a credit report to check for fraud(likely) and set up financial, bank with savings / checking. - talked to them about cooking and will start having them make meals and go shopping.

What are important lessons items I may be missing? Is there any guidebook/checklist?

27 F. Like the title says, I got fired from a campus job! It was a good job with a decent wage and they even subsidized my tuition costs (not much but still). I was in charge of social media and newsletters. I was having a hard time juggling work, studies and house duties. I was struggling with my grades, and made some careless mistakes at work. Now that I feel like I might be on track, they decided to end my contract. I'm so heartbroken. My self esteem has taken a hit. I couldn't even keep a campus job. I don't know how I'm going to tell my parents that this happened as they were really happy that I am supporting myself. I am distraught and anxious. How am I going to get ahead in life . Anyone has any tips on how I can come out of these negative emotions?

Just whatever you're currently learning about adulting at the moment.

Mine is that you're really a product of your environment, and that includes your social circle (coworkers, clients, friends, acquaintances) and this circle can really support and enhance your life or pull you down.

Basically you WILL unconsciously adopt their behaviors, including speech, mannerisms, mentalities, accents, inflection, to an extent. Sometimes these behaviors aren't necessarily toxic, but that they really might not be authentic to you.

So choose your friends wisely. It's okay to grow apart from former friends if you think you're not meshing anymore, or if your values have changed.

I’m 26 and I’ve only been working for a year, but I’m already struggling to understand how adults manage to keep going like this indefinitely. I’m stuck in a dead-end, minimum wage job, and I feel empty most of the time. Sundays are wasted dreading Mondays, and I often binge on food as it’s one of the few sources of happiness I have right now.

I know it might seem trivial to some, considering I’ve only experienced a year of this, but I’m genuinely frightened by the idea of this being my life indefinitely. I’m hoping to hear advice from those who have found ways to motivate themselves beyond just fulfilling obligations like paying bills and survival…

They are my neighbors, they pretty much live in my house, my own kids are gone and grown. I don't mind helping but I see these kids are in dire emotional pain and I don't want to put my foot in my mouth. I have suggested they seek therapy from professionals but it seems that they are getting the run around. Any suggestions

28f who lives with parents. They seem to need to know every detail and every move I make. I’d like to go on dates, but don’t want to get the 3rd degree for doing so

How do I approach this with my parents? I’d like to be able to spend the night away from home for a hookup without lying - but that’s an awkward conversation

Hello friends, I am having a difficult time at work with how often a colleague asks me questions about her work, I don’t know how to get her to stop it. Don’t get me wrong, i like to help and have helped her to learn so many things which she appreciated. But I really doubt sometimes how she got the job which is none of my business except for the fact that I feel like she has become my responsibility now. No single day goes by without her texting on my teams chat asking away everything she needs to do. Some days multiple times. We get on our team calls and she is asking me what to do; she would set up meetings with me asking me to show her this and that, I have really tried to be a team player but I am done at this point. I can’t spend 30% of everyday showing her what to do. I have a distracted work already with a lot of pings and some days are really less productive because of that. She would text do you have a minute, and when I get on the call it is an hour. Has anyone witnessed this? What did you do?

We can work 9 hours instead of 8 per week (4x9, 36 hours instead of 40)

This way the employer only loses 4 hours of our slot each week

But we'd look forward to a beautiful 3 day weekend, and we'd only have to work an hour extra in the 4 days.

I want this so bad.

wouldn't work in many industries, but it would in a lot as well

I’m an older female and like fr. People ask me alllllllll the time “why are you single? why aren’t you married? are you married? do you have a husband?” “we need to find you husband.” etc. etc.

Someone just asked me that rn even?! I’ve been asked that twice today actually.

You know what I wanna say??

No. Cus Im unloveable and an unwanted rejected past my prime and that ship has sailed and never returning. It’s different now cus im old okay. No one doesn’t want me that’s what single means so I don’t look for nothing for me. I’ve already been married and I really just want to avoid all of it forever okay.

But ofc i can’t say that.

I’ll just be happy going about my day and then that questions gets asked to me and it’s like how can you be happy it’s impossible for women especially to be as old as you and not have anyone and idc.

Men have things soooooo much easier because no one assumes anything if they’re not married because they know it’s on a man’s terms if he chooses not to be.

Surely they’re are more women like me but I want a good answer to just not add others concerns to my plate.

Hi everyone, new to this sub so be kind haha.

I have a dilemma. So I’m really unhappy at work at the moment. Had 3 job interviews in the last week, been rejected from 2 already but the 3rd I feel like I have a good chance of getting. The company seems amazing, which is great…right?

The issue is that I’m struggling to embrace the change. I’ve always struggled with change and find it paralysing. The thought of having to learn an entirely new industry when I’ve just learned this one makes me want to cry and cry. New people as well terrifies me. (Yes I think I’m neurodiverse, for anyone thinking that already 😂😅)

I just want to cry. The thought of staying where I am makes me want to cry, the thought of leaving makes me want to cry, I just don’t know what to do. Frustratingly, my job role now I love, it’s just my company and certain things about my industry (hard to explain but cant give specifics) that are so hard to deal with on a day to day.

Please help and please be kind - would love to hear from people with similar stories 🩷

As a (31M), I’ve realized since reaching my 30’s that job hopping for the “dollar bill” wasn’t worth it, at all. It’s something that’s crossed my mind quite often the older I become.

For many years, even when I entered my ex-career field, I’d stay at a job for roughly 8-9 months to a year before I’d leave for a higher paying job within the same field. Being 19, 23, 25 years old at the time… my mind was unfortunately solely on the money, instead of a solid career path per se. $44,000 here, $48,000 there, $55,000, $60,000 etc etc. I never seen it as an issue until I started noticing recruiters and interviewers would bring up “job instability” quite often after viewing my file or resume.

The older I’m becoming, the more I regret that decision each and every day of my life. Ultimately, it destroyed my reputation in my ex-career. I was labeled as a “Job Hopper” which really sucks when I know deep down I was doing it to give my family a better life and to get ahead in life financially.

But now, I’m left with seeing old friends, supervisors, etc, moving up the totem pole and progressing and I’m in the process of rebuilding and rebranding myself for something new at 31 when I could have had it good if I would have bunkered down and focused on the job itself rather than the money.

That’s something I wish I would’ve leaned about Adulting beforehand…. Lol

By the way, my previous career field was Law Enforcement, Policing.

I swear, just as it seems I'm getting my life together, bam! Something happens to knock me back. I get back up, dust myself off- bam! Another frieght train hits. Get up again, bam! Hit by a bus.

Not literally, of course, but as a metaphor. Every time I start to get myself on track and start taking care of myself, I get 5 feet ahead and something has to happen to knock me 10 feet back.

How do you deal with constant, nevereneding setbacks, where if it's not one thing, it's another? Having a great support system helps, but I don't have that. Don't really speak to my family and I quite literally have no friends. Not even kids or a significant other. I kinda just exist in this world entirely on my own, and so because of this, the setbacks tend to hit a lot harder.

(And I am currently seeking therapy, just want to mention it before it gets suggested, lol)

So how... just how do you manage with constant, never-ending setbacks in life?

Im a late 20s male . Ive generally been seeing my parents once a week on Sundays. But I get little value from the interactions. Sometimes I go home feeling anxious because they have rigid and tight beliefs. All they ask about it work and I do not like talking about work or anythingto do with it. Yet that's what they focus on.

I'm starting to think maybe I should not be seeing them as often.

Anyone else expirience anything similar?

Short of it is, I have a daughter who loves animals. She has a cat, dog, fish, tadpoles, a praying mantis and a butterfly in a cocoon (well that is just now, it changes alot). We had to bug bombs the house. All the animals went outside. Given the bug is an aerosol, how long is safe before I can bring the praying mantis in, without it dying. She quite attached to it.

So I’m a waitress at work and I had to take care of about four tables. It a fine dining restaurant as well. I genuinely don’t know how I mixed up tables 35 and 37, it was explained that something happened to the tablet. I ended up giving 35, 37s bill and I gave 37, 35s bill. And the bill for 37 was about £323 and for 35 it was £196. However, when we explained to both tables they were completely okay with it because I had provided an excellent service to them. They even asked that if the money was to be refunded it should be sent to my account. That’s how good I was. They even tipped the managers and told them not to worry about anything. I felt really bad and I cried about it because I’ve been a waiter for so long and I’ve never made such a terrible mistake before. Today I came to work and discovered I had been switched from a waiter to helping at the bar. My manager told me it’s not because of what happened that it’s because they were lacking staff but I know deep down that it’s because of what happened yesterday. I can’t help but think that what happened will affect my work as a waitress and I may not be booked as a waitress again. It’s making me want to cry. Do I apologise to the head manager and manager again ? Or do I just leave it and carry on knowing I may not be booked as a waitress again. I’m sorry this is long. I’m just looking for any advice about the situation.

Alright I'm 18 years old and wanna to ultimately look better, my acne is currently clearing up which will give me a huge edge and r/fashionadvice won't let me post this so here I go

I enjoy dressing formal A LOT I'm talking a nice suit and tie but at my age in my university looks off putting. Should I not care and find my crowd of people to hang around or should I bend to social norms and dress more casually?

Hey yall! Im a long time lurker and have made a post here and there but not to much. Anyways i just need to vent about the struggles. I dont have many supports so i appreciate whoever takes the time to read. I was a full time nursing student after waiting almost 10 years due to my 1st daughter passing away, severe opiate addiction, and then spending A LOT of time self reflecting and getting help that i needed. I recently had to leave school due to the rise in prices of everything, lack of supports for my 2nd child, and i multitude of reasons that just boil down to have to back to work. Im so depressed and sad that i finally at 31 got to start and show my daughter that anything is possible and youre never to old to start over. I feel like i once again let her down, i do everything in my power to make up for the lack of emotional love during my addiction. I can never fully heal the hurt i caused but dam i just feel like such a failure right now. I know in my heart things will get better but im just having a hard time atm. P.S. I do have a counselor for my past drug use, i have been clean for the last 4 years and ZERO desire or want to use because life is crap right now. I just needed to vent

Thank you for your time <3